Whether you love or loathe Evil Russell, most people agree that this season of Survivor: Samoa has been a good one. But how good? Where does it rank next to other seasons like Palau, Pearl Islands, and The Australian Outback? That’s right, it’s time for our oft-debated seasonal Survivor rankings! This is where I break down the first to the worst Survivor seasons, and tell you where the latest edition ranks (with two episodes left, at least). What will come in No. 1? Where does the oft-debated All-Stars season fall? And will Survivor: Samoa crack the top 10? The top 5? Click the “Read full post” link below to read my entire rankings, and then let us know on the message boards how you would rank the first 19 seasons of Survivor. And awaaaaay we go…
1. Survivor: Borneo
Think back to when this show first came on the air — and how we had never seen anything like it. Nothing will ever be able to duplicate that sense of wonder and excitement…
2. Survivor: Micronesia — Fans Vs. Favorites
…although this one came damn close. It wasn’t just the most insane four-episode-run in Survivor history (with XXX all getting blindsided, and then XXX pulling out one last hidden immunity idol). It was also great characters (Chet and Joel are the 21st century odd couple) and the perfect mix of solid and stupid gameplay.
3. Survivor: Amazon
Probably the most unpredictable season ever from week to week. Some people hate on XXX as a winner, but she won challenges and played a great social game.
4. Survivor: Pearl Islands
Rupert stealing shoes. Fairplay getting drunk at Tribal Council. Osten sucking at everything. It was all delicious. Loses points, though, for the awful Outcasts twist, which also led to a disappointing final two.
5. Survivor: Palau
I loved watching one tribe decimate the other, culminating with XXX becoming a tribe of one. And the challenges may have been Survivor’s best ever.
6. Survivor: Samoa
Never in the history of Survivor can I remember a player going from being so hated to so hailed as Russell Hantz. His controlling of the game (especially post-merge when his side was down 8-4) was truly a work of art. Evil genius art. (Note: This ranking could move up or down a few slots depending on what happens in final two episodes.)
7. Survivor: Marquesas
An underrated season that saw the first totem pole shake-up: where people on the bottom got together to overthrow those on the top. Yes, it was a weak final two, but it also had a woman peeing on a guy’s hand. Plus: Purple rock!!!
8. Survivor: Cook Islands
What a difference a mutiny makes. It was listless until that fateful moment when XXX and XXX stepped off the mat. Then, we finally had underdogs to root for. The Tribal Council fire-making tiebreaker between XXX and XXX may be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
9. Survivor: Australian Outback
An overrated season. Probst loves it. I didn’t. Solid but unspectacular. Pretty predictable boot order as well. Dude did burn his hands off, though.
10. Survivor: China
Really good cast. Kinda blah location.
11. Survivor: Tocantins
Okay, you may hate Coach. But imagine for a second this season without him. Bo-ring! His unintentional comedy single-handedly lifts this into the middle of the pack. Seriously, other than XXX getting blindsided, were there any memorable moments that didn’t involve the Steven Seagal wannabe?
12. Survivor: All-Stars
Overall, a letdown, but man, were there some hate-fueled fireworks at those final few Tribal Councils. Plus: Best. Reunion Show. Ever. (Remember XXX getting literally booed off the stage?)
13. Survivor: Panama
Ah, just writing the word Panama gets me daydreaming about Survivor XXX and her intoxicating knee socks. XXX was robbed on a final challenge that may or may not have been completely fair. Another unmemorable final two.
14. Survivor: Gabon
It got a bit better near the end, but it was still a case of too little, too late. The fact that so many unworthy players went so far is simply too damning.
15. Survivor: Africa
Some great challenges. Not that much else was great.
16. Survivor: Guatemala
One of the more unlikable casts so far. (Remember Judd? Jamie? Stephenie’s evil twin?) Rafe was good for a few laughs, though. Especially on rope obstacles.
17. Survivor: Vanuatu
I don’t blame producers: The battle of the sexes worked well the first time around.
18. Survivor: Thailand
The fake merge and brutal last challenge (where the final three had to hold coins between their fingers in a crazy painful pose) keep this dud out of the bottom spot. Barely.
19. Survivor: Fiji
The season that we shall never speak of again. With the exception of Yau-Man and Earl, a true bummer of a cast, and the “Haves Vs. Have-Nots” twist was perhaps the worst creative decision in Survivor history — after the “Outcasts.”